Loving this tid bit of wisdom. Turns out that to heal from post-concussion, that’s the only way to do it. Get back more fully into life, even when it’s hard, especially when it’s challenging.
Parker, I had the experience of rock climbing and rappelling down a cliff when I was around 19 years old. I found the climb up more challenging than rappelling down. Perhaps that was the abandon of youth that gave me the courage. Kudos to you for doing it in mid life. In my older years, I went to my first Hands Off protest with my husband in April. Yesterday we picked up signs to give out to friends for the Democratic candidate for Governor in Virginia. We are going to an office opening for the Democratic incumbent running for the House of Delegates in Virginia. My family will write postcards for candidates and I usually hand out voter guides at the polls. Meanwhile I have written to my Senators and my Representative in the house to protect Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and funding for research, especially for Alzheimer’s. I am currently reading HOW TO END CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM, by Amanda Tyler. Staying in touch with friends keeps me grounded and hopeful in spite of the chaos in Washington. Thanks for sharing your insights. 🙂
Thank you Parker for this beautiful Essay. Yes, leaning into what we need to do in these troubled times is so vital, even when it feels risky or hard to do. The David Whyte poem “Start Close In” is a favorite. I always learn a deeper truth about poems whenever you highlight and “unpack” them with us!
I love this advice (both from you and Mr Whyte). Too often, I get caught in "all or nothing" thinking. As a parent of young children who also works full time, my time (and brain, and energy) feel so zapped that any kind of big gesture feels totally inaccessible. This is a good reminder that I don't have to start from scratch or alone. I can, instead take a deep breath and look for action already in motion that I can lend my small voice to. There are a number of parent+teacher groups in my area working for transparency, equity, and positive change within our local school district (and public school funding state-wide). Family busy-ness and mental health concerns caused me to take a step back these past few months so my "first step" is to go to the parent meet-up and reconnect with folks. Building community is powerful, even if it doesn't always get the press that protests or boycotts do.
Thank you for your wise, wise words. We all need to start shouting them from the rooftops. Also: Your story was so real, I was truly frightened…..and then you made me laugh. One small step at a time…..Together, we can get out of this current mess we are in.
Thank you, Palmer. I very much appreciated the first part that made me laugh so hard, so that I could take in the rest which is difficult and sobering, but very right and important.
I speak out firmly but not hurtfully any time I encounter ANY injustice. When Trump ran the first time I was in a religious group with 5 other women who all supported him (mostly because they were Republicans). I spoke out about the kind of person he is as often as I could. They kept making excuses. I eventually had to leave the group when I understood they were voting for him the second time. There was no place for me there and what we were studying (from the Bible) was in complete contrast to who he is and what he represents (including the people around him). And that was in 2015 and 2019!!!
I call and email my representatives, I sign petitions, I protest at local gatherings. However, I live in a solidly blue state, so my phone calls are not to senators and congresspeople who need to be convinced. I've been told that the volume of calls helps, so I do it. The petitions are nation-wide issues. I have called Susan Collins to try to persuade her to vote against things. I will soon be calling Mike Johnson's office, but something in me tells me they won't hear me so it's not worth it. I need to do it anyway. I volunteer to show people who are in need and being ignored by this administration (and others) that they count in my eyes and in the eyes of many. I'm trying.
Our 12-year-married 31 year old daughter - mother of two young girls, wife of a beautiful man - recently made the statement to us all that she is gay and leaving her traditional family to begin a new life. We are all heartbroken and frozen with fear about navigating this entire new adventure that no one, other than her, wants. Even acknowledging this decision of hers in conversations with others is confronting and feels incongruent to our experience of her. However, here we are. Unable to change it. Unable to get out of it. I shall endeavour to lean in and look to the Heavens; taking one baby step at a time toward loving and honouring our girl, and her new path. Thank you Parker. I needed this.
I hear your sadness as well as your gratitude, Kathie. Perhaps you can maintain your relationship with your daughter AND your “wonderful” soon to be former son in law. Meaningful, fulfilling relationships have, I believe, always been difficult to sustain. I hope for healing for all of you.
I hope your daughter finds joy and peace. I also hope she is mindful to do what she can to assist her former husband who will, it seems, be the one caring for their two daughters. Taking "Freedom to" and "Freedom from" together and may assist the family she"begins a new life." It will be a new life for them too. I speak as a single parent with full custody whose two children were left behind by their mother. Bless, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Thank you for your comment. They plan on some form of shared custody at this stage. Can you please elaborate on “Freedom from” and “Freedom to”. I am not sure what you mean. Thank you Dwight.
Love the post. I felt like it spoke to me personally. After the death of my husband one year ago I am at a point of picking up the pieces of my life alone. I am doing well! But, it is slow, one small step at a time I tread into new territory! And it is working! I try to be brave as I move forward and onward. Some days I am overwhelmed but some days I am just so proud of myself.
I sometimes remember how vigorously Nixon was protested, and then he won by a landslide. And then Carter was elected to bring a sense of goodness back to the Whitehouse. The pendulum doesn't swing on its own. It needs us to push it, and so we do. Even if it's just by making doable financial contributions to the campaigns.
I've been doing small acts and a lot of birdwatching (the warblers are here). Balance. Now we breathe, and soon we'll push.
Our local Indivisible group determined that to have a positive impact in our county, a Republican stronghold in western NC, we need to hold listening sessions to give folks a chance to be heard, to hear their neighbors, and to realize that we’re not as different as “they” make us out to be. It will be little steps, as you astutely describe, but if we don’t we lose a lot. Thanks, Parker!
Thank you Palmer for words that came just in time on a day I was/am feeling oppression — words that come from a fondly remembered friend and prior colleague. My next step is to write & call my US Senator. Never done that before. Thank you. Norm Jensen
I have returned to your "if you can't get out of it, get into it" story dozens of times (thanks to my very well-worn copy of "Let Your Life Speak") and shared it with many people including my children. Thank you for re-visiting it in today's challenging context and bringing David Whyte's wisdom into the mix, too! Here's to taking the next steps in front of us.
Loving this tid bit of wisdom. Turns out that to heal from post-concussion, that’s the only way to do it. Get back more fully into life, even when it’s hard, especially when it’s challenging.
good before sleep read.
Parker, I had the experience of rock climbing and rappelling down a cliff when I was around 19 years old. I found the climb up more challenging than rappelling down. Perhaps that was the abandon of youth that gave me the courage. Kudos to you for doing it in mid life. In my older years, I went to my first Hands Off protest with my husband in April. Yesterday we picked up signs to give out to friends for the Democratic candidate for Governor in Virginia. We are going to an office opening for the Democratic incumbent running for the House of Delegates in Virginia. My family will write postcards for candidates and I usually hand out voter guides at the polls. Meanwhile I have written to my Senators and my Representative in the house to protect Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and funding for research, especially for Alzheimer’s. I am currently reading HOW TO END CHRISTIAN NATIONALISM, by Amanda Tyler. Staying in touch with friends keeps me grounded and hopeful in spite of the chaos in Washington. Thanks for sharing your insights. 🙂
Thank you Parker for this beautiful Essay. Yes, leaning into what we need to do in these troubled times is so vital, even when it feels risky or hard to do. The David Whyte poem “Start Close In” is a favorite. I always learn a deeper truth about poems whenever you highlight and “unpack” them with us!
Hooray. This writing of yours has me thinking about what my step “close in” might be. Thank you.
When frozen by fear,
face wall, lean into the void.
Take next tiny step.
...
Gaping hole ahead.
Can’t get out? Get into it.
Tattered ropes and all.
...
Start with that at-hand,
daily acts, what’s in our hands.
Show up, speak up, stand.
...
Keep up keeping on,
true north to liberation.
To reach solid ground.
I love this advice (both from you and Mr Whyte). Too often, I get caught in "all or nothing" thinking. As a parent of young children who also works full time, my time (and brain, and energy) feel so zapped that any kind of big gesture feels totally inaccessible. This is a good reminder that I don't have to start from scratch or alone. I can, instead take a deep breath and look for action already in motion that I can lend my small voice to. There are a number of parent+teacher groups in my area working for transparency, equity, and positive change within our local school district (and public school funding state-wide). Family busy-ness and mental health concerns caused me to take a step back these past few months so my "first step" is to go to the parent meet-up and reconnect with folks. Building community is powerful, even if it doesn't always get the press that protests or boycotts do.
Thank you ♥️
sounds like a good decision.. and you are busy... and it's been scary. and you are here now..
hugs
Thank you for your wise, wise words. We all need to start shouting them from the rooftops. Also: Your story was so real, I was truly frightened…..and then you made me laugh. One small step at a time…..Together, we can get out of this current mess we are in.
As in all things the 1st step is the most important one. Let's all dip into our well of courage and take it.
Thank you, Palmer. I very much appreciated the first part that made me laugh so hard, so that I could take in the rest which is difficult and sobering, but very right and important.
I speak out firmly but not hurtfully any time I encounter ANY injustice. When Trump ran the first time I was in a religious group with 5 other women who all supported him (mostly because they were Republicans). I spoke out about the kind of person he is as often as I could. They kept making excuses. I eventually had to leave the group when I understood they were voting for him the second time. There was no place for me there and what we were studying (from the Bible) was in complete contrast to who he is and what he represents (including the people around him). And that was in 2015 and 2019!!!
I call and email my representatives, I sign petitions, I protest at local gatherings. However, I live in a solidly blue state, so my phone calls are not to senators and congresspeople who need to be convinced. I've been told that the volume of calls helps, so I do it. The petitions are nation-wide issues. I have called Susan Collins to try to persuade her to vote against things. I will soon be calling Mike Johnson's office, but something in me tells me they won't hear me so it's not worth it. I need to do it anyway. I volunteer to show people who are in need and being ignored by this administration (and others) that they count in my eyes and in the eyes of many. I'm trying.
5 Calls:
https://5calls.org/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
Make a a few calls at a time so that you don’t overwhelmed.
Keep making calls to your Representatives! Your calls can make a BIG difference to help our representatives make their decisions.
Our 12-year-married 31 year old daughter - mother of two young girls, wife of a beautiful man - recently made the statement to us all that she is gay and leaving her traditional family to begin a new life. We are all heartbroken and frozen with fear about navigating this entire new adventure that no one, other than her, wants. Even acknowledging this decision of hers in conversations with others is confronting and feels incongruent to our experience of her. However, here we are. Unable to change it. Unable to get out of it. I shall endeavour to lean in and look to the Heavens; taking one baby step at a time toward loving and honouring our girl, and her new path. Thank you Parker. I needed this.
Me too. Our daughter is splitting up with her wonderful husband of 12 years. She ended her first marriage after 9 years.
I am GRATEFUL that she has no children. Gingeorgia your words, coupled with Parker’s have truly lifted my spirits 🤗🐢
I hear your sadness as well as your gratitude, Kathie. Perhaps you can maintain your relationship with your daughter AND your “wonderful” soon to be former son in law. Meaningful, fulfilling relationships have, I believe, always been difficult to sustain. I hope for healing for all of you.
Such a heartache …. Thank you for your encouragement. Sending love your way Kathie.
For example, freedom from marriage and freedom to find a more suitable life. Both include, I believe, a responsibility for the children.
I hope your daughter finds joy and peace. I also hope she is mindful to do what she can to assist her former husband who will, it seems, be the one caring for their two daughters. Taking "Freedom to" and "Freedom from" together and may assist the family she"begins a new life." It will be a new life for them too. I speak as a single parent with full custody whose two children were left behind by their mother. Bless, Dwight Lee Wolter.
Thank you for your comment. They plan on some form of shared custody at this stage. Can you please elaborate on “Freedom from” and “Freedom to”. I am not sure what you mean. Thank you Dwight.
I assumed nothing. I spoke of hope. Gingeorgia addressed my comment. Nicely.
Love the post. I felt like it spoke to me personally. After the death of my husband one year ago I am at a point of picking up the pieces of my life alone. I am doing well! But, it is slow, one small step at a time I tread into new territory! And it is working! I try to be brave as I move forward and onward. Some days I am overwhelmed but some days I am just so proud of myself.
I sometimes remember how vigorously Nixon was protested, and then he won by a landslide. And then Carter was elected to bring a sense of goodness back to the Whitehouse. The pendulum doesn't swing on its own. It needs us to push it, and so we do. Even if it's just by making doable financial contributions to the campaigns.
I've been doing small acts and a lot of birdwatching (the warblers are here). Balance. Now we breathe, and soon we'll push.
Our local Indivisible group determined that to have a positive impact in our county, a Republican stronghold in western NC, we need to hold listening sessions to give folks a chance to be heard, to hear their neighbors, and to realize that we’re not as different as “they” make us out to be. It will be little steps, as you astutely describe, but if we don’t we lose a lot. Thanks, Parker!
Thank you Palmer for words that came just in time on a day I was/am feeling oppression — words that come from a fondly remembered friend and prior colleague. My next step is to write & call my US Senator. Never done that before. Thank you. Norm Jensen
I have returned to your "if you can't get out of it, get into it" story dozens of times (thanks to my very well-worn copy of "Let Your Life Speak") and shared it with many people including my children. Thank you for re-visiting it in today's challenging context and bringing David Whyte's wisdom into the mix, too! Here's to taking the next steps in front of us.