This is so very real, and beautiful...thank you! While spending the last days of my dads life with him, we listened to a lot of John Prine and Iris Dement songs.. Dad loved all music but this was what he requested at that time. There are so very many people who just need a lending ear. "Hello in There" respectfully says you are important, let me sit with you and tell me your story..we all have one! I have listened to my favorite John Prine song so many times over, " No Ordinary Blue".. as I think of dad and how much he loved nature and the ocean and imagine he experiences a million shades of blue, and peace, wherever he is. 💙
I just decided last week to not attend my 50th reunion. Wishing I had chosen to go now but the deadline has passed. Wonderful article Parker and here's to Handsome Johnny!
Many decades ago my husband and I were friends with a coworker of mine and his wife. We were all in our 20’s and in school. My coworker was also a lab assistant & mentioned how students in his lab would come to him to talk- even a husband and wife pair came to him individually. He thought it interesting and I agreed, having noticed how if I said hello to a complete stranger while, for example, sitting on a park bench, they would tell me their life story. We humorously wondered if we had signs on our backs saying “Tell me your story.” Seriously I’ve always enjoyed hearing the variety and tried to actively listen (lol always working on that actively bit.) I find it can actually take less energy to listen than to talk. After all, I know my story and am curious about theirs. Perhaps it’s related to being a big reader as a child. In books one gets to hear the depth of the characters.
I have a Snoopy shirt that says, there is always something to be grateful for, which I find true. I’m grateful for so much, and for your post and the responses. They restore hope that civil and empathetic discourse still exist. Thank you
What a beautiful song and a beautiful experience you had at your wife's reunion. Yes, we need to listen to the most vulnerable in our society. It's in those places that we can be transformed in to a kinder and gentler people. Thank you Parker Palmer.
When you wrote about listening I remembered my father, who was well known in the community I grew up in. He owned his own business and was a prominent leader in the local church. He taught me how to listen not with my ears but with my eyes. He taught me that in order to fully hear and understand someone who is speaking with me, I can hear him even now, I must always look in their eyes when they spoke. I could then hear and feel what they we telling me. And by gully it worked!!
Some years ago , in my Quaker Meeting, there were certain people who got up and gave messages nearly every week. One older Friend in particular gave very repetitive messages. “When I entered the meeting house in Evenston Indiana there was a sign above the door….blah blah blah.” I was then very greedy for silence. I wanted there to be such a thing as shoe ministry where I alone was allowed to throw my shoe at anyone who’s ministry I did not want to hear. Over the years I sat in a group with this elderly man. I came to appreciate and love him. When he would stand and began “when I entered…” it began to feel to me like “our father who art in …..” in a church. Like an incantation and a prayer. Now that dear man is long dead but sometimes, when I sit in meeting, I hear his voice echoing in the room.
You're right both the song and your writing were a beautiful and a sad reminder of our world today and how invisible the aging population has become. I am 76 and already feel invisible. The Vietnam War was a terrible time in our history, whether you served over there or behind a desk here. One of my best friends was a marine over there and was involved in some of the worst of it. He died 3 years ago from a Covid related illness and I miss him everyday. I listened to his stories and I'm still listening. Thankyou I totally appreciate this.
I read "The Courage to Teach" very early in my teaching career. After reading this piece--you need to write "The Courage to Retire from teaching." I retired --took a year off and am going back in a few weeks. The retirement thing--even with tons of volunteer work and tutoring just didn;t work for my soul!
Oh Parker, This post brought me to tears. Your thoughts on listening, on hearing the stories of our fellow travelers on this good green earth move me deeply. I used to make jokes with my husband when we would go to a party or gathering saying "question: do you know how to have people think you are the most charming person at the party? answer: ask questions about them and then listen, really listen." it was a funny little reminder to one another to be attentive and open hearted when meeting new people. How important it is, especially in these times to listen, to hear the stories others are waiting to tell, to sense how they connect with our own human story. Yes..this post left me grateful and teary...in the very best kind of way. thank you Parker.
Parker, being “heard” and “seen” by you is a gift. I have certainly felt blessed by our one or two very brief encounters in the holler. A treasured memory! Thanks for using your voice as a guiding light!
This is so very real, and beautiful...thank you! While spending the last days of my dads life with him, we listened to a lot of John Prine and Iris Dement songs.. Dad loved all music but this was what he requested at that time. There are so very many people who just need a lending ear. "Hello in There" respectfully says you are important, let me sit with you and tell me your story..we all have one! I have listened to my favorite John Prine song so many times over, " No Ordinary Blue".. as I think of dad and how much he loved nature and the ocean and imagine he experiences a million shades of blue, and peace, wherever he is. 💙
I just decided last week to not attend my 50th reunion. Wishing I had chosen to go now but the deadline has passed. Wonderful article Parker and here's to Handsome Johnny!
Thank you for this post. Your words have amplified the beauty of John Prine’s song.
Beautifully presented. Thank you
Many decades ago my husband and I were friends with a coworker of mine and his wife. We were all in our 20’s and in school. My coworker was also a lab assistant & mentioned how students in his lab would come to him to talk- even a husband and wife pair came to him individually. He thought it interesting and I agreed, having noticed how if I said hello to a complete stranger while, for example, sitting on a park bench, they would tell me their life story. We humorously wondered if we had signs on our backs saying “Tell me your story.” Seriously I’ve always enjoyed hearing the variety and tried to actively listen (lol always working on that actively bit.) I find it can actually take less energy to listen than to talk. After all, I know my story and am curious about theirs. Perhaps it’s related to being a big reader as a child. In books one gets to hear the depth of the characters.
I have a Snoopy shirt that says, there is always something to be grateful for, which I find true. I’m grateful for so much, and for your post and the responses. They restore hope that civil and empathetic discourse still exist. Thank you
Thank you, Parker. You encourage me to be a better listener. The song is beautiful!
What a beautiful song and a beautiful experience you had at your wife's reunion. Yes, we need to listen to the most vulnerable in our society. It's in those places that we can be transformed in to a kinder and gentler people. Thank you Parker Palmer.
Thanks for turning John’s wonderful song into a living, breathing story for today.
Thank you
When you wrote about listening I remembered my father, who was well known in the community I grew up in. He owned his own business and was a prominent leader in the local church. He taught me how to listen not with my ears but with my eyes. He taught me that in order to fully hear and understand someone who is speaking with me, I can hear him even now, I must always look in their eyes when they spoke. I could then hear and feel what they we telling me. And by gully it worked!!
Some years ago , in my Quaker Meeting, there were certain people who got up and gave messages nearly every week. One older Friend in particular gave very repetitive messages. “When I entered the meeting house in Evenston Indiana there was a sign above the door….blah blah blah.” I was then very greedy for silence. I wanted there to be such a thing as shoe ministry where I alone was allowed to throw my shoe at anyone who’s ministry I did not want to hear. Over the years I sat in a group with this elderly man. I came to appreciate and love him. When he would stand and began “when I entered…” it began to feel to me like “our father who art in …..” in a church. Like an incantation and a prayer. Now that dear man is long dead but sometimes, when I sit in meeting, I hear his voice echoing in the room.
Lovely comment...
You're right both the song and your writing were a beautiful and a sad reminder of our world today and how invisible the aging population has become. I am 76 and already feel invisible. The Vietnam War was a terrible time in our history, whether you served over there or behind a desk here. One of my best friends was a marine over there and was involved in some of the worst of it. He died 3 years ago from a Covid related illness and I miss him everyday. I listened to his stories and I'm still listening. Thankyou I totally appreciate this.
This piece feels like a prayer, Parker. May we join you in listening and holding sacred space.
I read "The Courage to Teach" very early in my teaching career. After reading this piece--you need to write "The Courage to Retire from teaching." I retired --took a year off and am going back in a few weeks. The retirement thing--even with tons of volunteer work and tutoring just didn;t work for my soul!
Oh Parker, This post brought me to tears. Your thoughts on listening, on hearing the stories of our fellow travelers on this good green earth move me deeply. I used to make jokes with my husband when we would go to a party or gathering saying "question: do you know how to have people think you are the most charming person at the party? answer: ask questions about them and then listen, really listen." it was a funny little reminder to one another to be attentive and open hearted when meeting new people. How important it is, especially in these times to listen, to hear the stories others are waiting to tell, to sense how they connect with our own human story. Yes..this post left me grateful and teary...in the very best kind of way. thank you Parker.
Parker, being “heard” and “seen” by you is a gift. I have certainly felt blessed by our one or two very brief encounters in the holler. A treasured memory! Thanks for using your voice as a guiding light!